We finally having a baby. The countdown is on. We went to the doctor and had her checked the other day(note to self: put gun on the opposite side that she is grabbing; couldve been bad). The doctor said that Dawson still hasn't made his way down and is scared that he is now too big to fit. She will now be having a C section. This is not what Re wanted to hear but she has put her big girl panties on and dealing with it. We go in at 0700 hours on Friday and we couldn't be more pumped.

Does this really look comfortable? Re says that this is what we are going to do to Dawson. I think it looks like we are putting him in a straight jacket. How is he going to scratch his tush or suck his thumb. I have always told Re that she needed to practice picking up things with her toes in case she ever lost her arms. I guess she realized I was right and decided to let Dawson not use his arms. Anyway, we shall see how it goes. I imagine I will set him free when she is not looking.

Dawson's room is all ready. We have 30,000 outfits and they are all in order. There are a couple of questionable ones that look like dresses. She has a week to put him in what she calls a "day gown", better known as a dress. Im still waiting on smocked outfits for him and Bailey.

In other news, who has been to Turtle Creek Mall lately? If so, did it remind you of shopping in a foreign country. Walking through the food court, Asian women are trying to shove Shricken on a stick down your throat. Just outside the food court, a guy was trying to get us to try out his lotion. I thought that in itself was weird. Re said that some girl asked if she could use a straightener on her hair. Seriously, I know times are bad but in the words of MJ- "Leave me alone". I mean, what's next? Are the referees at foot locker going to start blowing their whistles at you when you go by to get your attention? Will the Cellular South booth bluetooth your phone and start calling you when you go by? You are not going to get me to buy Shricken, lotion, or Soul Glo hair care products by irritating me. Thank you for trying though.

We will keep you posted on Dawson's arrival.

Anyone have a tent?

No posts lately because my computer is broke. Since the last post, I have moved out. Dont get upset, Re hasn't kicked me out of the house but it wont be long. Re has not been real comfortable lately- Im not sure why. She tosses and turns all night. She also sighs real loud every five minutes. The last straw was when she yelled "STEAMROLLER" around 0230 hours the other night. I am now sleeping on Jon Brent's "Cars" mattress in the bathroom but may have to move since Re goes to the bathroom all the time. I may be pitching a tent soon just to be on the safe side.

Everything looked good for Re's last appointment. Dawson is moving around good in there so he is apparently doing some pushups getting ready to bust out of there. Re still thinks that she may go into labor sooner than the doctors think. What do they know right? She has decided to do that water delivery thing at home. I went and got a Batman swimming pool and filled it up to prepare. She said that she doesn't need an epidural. She is going to have five or six cosmopolitans just before going into labor. She is tough.

In sad news, Mikey will be retired October 1st. This has been a very hard, and sad, decision. Mikey has been at work with me almost every day for the last five years. It is probably hard for some to understand how attached an officer gets to his k-9 partner but it is easy to do when you spend more time with them than you do your family. I will miss having Mikey as my partner but know that he will enjoy his retirement at the house protecting baby Dawson. I will post some photos and video soon if I can get my computer working.

"My eyes are your eyes, to watch and protect you and yours.
My ears are your ears, to hear and detect evil minds in the dark.
My nose is your nose, to scent the invader of your domain.
And so you may live, my life is also yours."

Our bags are packed and we are ready to go to the hospital any second now. Thats right, Re says that she will be having Dawson any second now, at least thats what the janitor at some office she went to said. I think it was more like, "Ooooh girl, you bout to spit that thing out aint ya?". I guess Re put alot of faith in what this lady said. She fully convinced herself that Dawson was coming when she got home from work. Luckily Dr Benton set her straight today at her appointment and told her that she was still due in October.

She could believe this because of something called Braxton Hicks(which I called Briggs & Stratton) where you start feeling contractions. I don't think these are contractions. You could see him bobbing and weaving when the nurse pushed Re's stomach on the ultrasound. I think Dawson is trying to let her know that he is tired of being poked in the head, stomach, and ribs. He is now paying her back by performing some judo kicks to her stomach.

Re had a shower two weeks ago- yeah a baby shower. I think she bathes every 3 days. She racked up but I am very upset that we didnt get any matching outfits for Bailey and Dawson. We did get just about everything else you could imagine. Thanks to all who made it happen.

I am thankfully getting over the crud. I know alot of you would like for me to have gotten the Swine Flu so you would have had another reason to call me a pig. Well, sorry. The Z-pack I got has just about knocked it out so guess it wasn't life threatening.

Looking forward to Dawson being here soon

The word for the day is "beast"

You know how these work. Try it and let me know what you see. Can you see the little baby? How cute. See his face, ear, and feet? You don't see it. Now you know how I felt in the 3D ultrasound we did today. Sherri and the nurse were obviously seeing Dawson while I was over in the chair squinting my eyes, turning my head, and trying to make out different body parts. After about 30 minutes, I finally saw what appeared to be a baby on the screen. I picked up on it alot more when they printed the pictures out for us.

That's my boy!

My boy has toes------------------------------------------------

ReRe was a little concerned with Dr. Benton's statement that she was having a "beast". I think they said he is already 3 lbs 11 ounces and has a while left to grow. I figured we may as well go for the record for world's biggest baby but not sure Re would be pumped about that. As long as he is healthy we will be happy. They have some great technology now and they were able to give us this picture of what he will look like if he keeps up this pace. If this is true, he will be the youngest competitor in Nathan's hot dog eating competition.

Re is feeling good except for a good bit of numbness in her hands. Better days ahead for her. She has really been a trooper and still going strong at work.

Now that I've covered the important stuff, on to the "babymoon". We had a great time in Aruba. No, we didn't find Natalie Holloway. We did ask some locals about it but they changed the topic real quick. All I have to say is Re better keep it up so she can take me every year. Next year will be Hawaii. What's your rank Re?

Anniversary?

anniversary? I think we should come up with something a little more catching for this day. How about "J-Day", "BBFG"(Bye Bye Forrest General), or "The Family Guy"? I guess I look at it a little different than some- imagine that. I don't see this day as being one of mourning or gloom. Is it sad that J's wife and kids will miss out on having the best man in the world raise them? Absolutely. Is it fair that my mom and dad lost their son at such an early age? I don't think so. Do I miss J more every day? You bet.

However, anyone that knew J is 100% certain where he now spends eternity. I spent 6 months watching my brother slowly die. I watched him suffer day in and day out. I watched him muster up enough energy to go to the hospital to see Baby Ally born- he was so proud. I helped him to the bathroom because he didn't have the strength to get there. I watched him deteriorate day after day. I spent days watching him, or some form of him, lay in the bed in ICU with tubes in his mouth. I watched as my brother gasped his last breath here on earth and wiped the blood as it ran down his face. Where do you think J would rather be- in pain on earth, or at peace with his heavenly father? Easy answer!!!!

Lets go from those days to J's life today. I haven't told anyone but J has been sending me snail mail from Heaven, along with some photos. He has kept me informed about all of the stuff he has been doing since beginning his new life. He just recently sent a package so I thought I would share it with y'all. Heaven has been busy and J has been assigned to the Pearly Gates so he has met quite a few characters in the last few days. He sent me some photos of a few of them.

J said that Billy Mays came to the Pearly Gates still making deals. He had boxes and boxes of Oxi Clean and told J he would show him how it worked. J told him that there is no need for cleaning products in heaven. He decided to send all of the cleaning products to "Neverland" to be used for the new owners.

He also got to meet Ed. Ed didn't waste any time. He started "The heaven show with Johnny Carson". Who else would they have for their first guest than J. They asked him hours of questions. At the end of the show, Ed requested that J do his own show so he could be his sidekick. J said he hasn't made his mind up yet. You know how he loved being in the spotlight.

J just wanted everyone to know that he is still working out and has put some weight back on and then some. He also added that he is all natural. No Roids needed in Heaven.

J also said that he is making his own rock music, skydives daily w/ no parachute, no longer worries about people messing with his stuff, still collects baseball cards and has them in order, and is happier in Heaven than he ever was on Earth. J has no pain, no worries, and no regrets.

I am proud to say that Jason Weathers was my brother. I learned alot from him, especially in the last 6 months of his life. He had an impact on so many people's lives, including mine. Who else could have such an impact on the nurses, that deal with cancer everyday, to cause them to require counseling when he died? Anna Lea, Jon Brent, and Ally will definitely miss out not having him around but I know that they are loved more by family and friends than most kids with a mother and father. You can expect great things from them in the future.

J, you are definitely missed but I can honestly say that I am at peace with you going to be with the Lord. Have fun and can't wait to reunite with you one day. Oh happy days. By the way, I would appreciate it if you explain some of my quirks before I get there. Peace, Love, and Hair Piece.

Love ya J

Its been a while again but I have been working hard. Not at work. I have been working day in and day out trying to find matching smocked outfits for Baby Dawson and Bailey. You just can't find a whole lot of places that have smocked outfits for 14 year olds. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? I think they wear these gay outfits until they move out of the house or something. I guess it would be better than the Hooters t-shirt that I saw Bailey wearing at Church the other night(didn't go well for him). This would be a great way to toughen him up also as Im sure he would be picked on a little. Seriously, Re and I are going to have to come to an understanding about these clothes. I think there comes a point when boys need to wear boy clothes or they start acting like girls. We will work on that later.

I really wonder what might happen next with Re's body. She hasn't been sick or had any problems so I can't say too much. However, if she keeps going, it is possible that she will be going into labor in a body cast. How can someone just get carpal tunnel all of a sudden? I must say that seeing her wear those braces on her arms really turns me on. I think Im going to see if she will start wearing an eye patch and walk with a limp too. I was going to go in there and take a picture of her sleeping but its too hot to be living outside.

I think she is also losing her mind a little. She will just grab my hand and put it on her belly. She "claims" that Dawson is kicking when she does that. I will put my hand there and leave it for several minutes without feeling anything. I havent figured out if she has lost it or if Dawson is just really quick- hope its the latter. I let him listen to a little workout music tonight too hoping he would get a workout in. A little baby flutter kicks or squats never hurt anyone.

On a working note, I got to see first hand Friday night why Adam "Pacman" Jones(what a stupid name) gets in so much trouble. His bodyguard decided to turn off on our roadblock and start revving his engine. We had to get them all out at gunpoint and figured out they were just ignorant. Jones said he signed again with Dallas so I wish them luck with him. He said he has straightened up. We shall see.

Remember: Friendship is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Help!

It has been a busy week. Re had to call 911 on Monday to report that someone had stolen her ankles. I really didn't know what she was talking about but she said that her ankles were gone. She has showed me 5 times and I am yet to see what she is talking about. I understand that she is probably a little swollen in her ankles but I have a great suggestion- no high heels! Thats right Re, there are other shoes to be worn besides high heels(aka- stripper boots). Its time to sport the flip flops, slippers, air jordan's, or just go barefoot.


(Here on the left, you see what you wear everyday. You would get just as many looks with these shoes on the right as you do with your high heels.)









I had an eye replacement this week after Re turned the corner quick and put my right eye out with her breasts.(thats funny, I dont care who you are)

I put Dawson's (yeah, that's still his name) baby bed together this week. I hope and pray that it stays together better than Jon Brent's Big Wheels that I put together. If it doesn't, Im just trying to make him tough. He is going to fall down alot so he needs to learn how to get back up- even if it is at 2 months old.

In other news, my sugar momma has come thru again. Re has made president's club with her company and will be taking her baby daddy to Aruba at the end of July. I am so proud of her because she has worked her tail off to win this trip. Im even more proud because she decided to take me with her to Aruba. I am concerned about the whole Natalie Holloway deal. Im not worried about that happening to Re. Im worried about Re spending the entire time we are there trying to find her. She gets a little caught up with stuff like that. Anyway, we are both very excited and ready to go. Anybody want to house sit with a little dog?

Lastly, I know you heard that the king of pop died yesterday. I read a great question that was asked shortly after his death. --- Do you think Ed McMahon said, "Heeeeeeeerrrrressss Michael"? I thought that was pretty good. Also, for you parents out there, Walmart is honoring Michael for the next 24 hours and all little boys shorts are half off.(thats wrong, but you know you laughed).